i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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