hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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