it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
