Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i think i just lost a toe
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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