yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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