white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The power of my boobs compel you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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