Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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