pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
