Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
