it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
