it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The feeling are messing with the penis
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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