3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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