Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
