no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
