Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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