kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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