also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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