Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
