eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
