went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
