I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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