Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
