i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
