All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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