can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
