Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
