Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I cockslap morals
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
