i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Welp...herpes.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
