Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
