Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
