butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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