Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
