I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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