dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Small penises have feelings too.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
should my penis look like a turkey
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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