She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
