I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
