I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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