Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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