Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
