I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
