I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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