Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
