how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
