i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
