Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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