I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize