I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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