so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
