If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
