You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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