When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
